We all ask ourselves the question, "Why".  For most couples, this question may never be fully answered during the course of a marriage. The questions of "why does he do that"? or "why am I starting to feel this way"?  may eventually do harm to a relationship as well as the marriage as a whole. Decisions that a person may make are not as likely to come from "restlessness"  or "apathy"  as they are not understanding what a persons temperament needs are.

Allow me to explain further...you may not be "bored" or "restless" with your mate, it may be due to the lack of knowing and getting your temperament needs met. When God made us, he placed a Temperament in us. In essence, he "wired" us a certain way...with certain needs. Meeting these temperament needs are vital to peace and happiness. You may think that you are becoming bored with your mate, or you may think that you are no longer in love with them, however the cause may be different than you think...it may not be your mate at all.

So why do I feel this way?

Feeling a certain way without knowing one's temperament is like feeling pain in your body, but not going to the doctor to find out what's wrong with you. At best, all you can do is guess as to where the pain is coming from. A doctor can tell you exactly where the pain is located and how to deal with it successfully.  It's the same way with knowing what your temperament is.

Let us assume that you are feeling "restless" and as a result stress is a major factor in your life. No matter what you have tried or whom you have spoken with, things don't seem to be any better. You may  be looking for comfort outside of the relationship or marriage. You may feel yourself in a downward spiral that leads to a life that you'd rather not live in. After coming to The Penewit Center and learning what your unique temperament is, you discover that you have a certain temperament need that is not being met. After learning to meet this temperament need, you begin to realize that this was the problem. You then begin to see the people in your life (such as a child or a mate) in a different light. As I counsel, I see this scenario play all the time. Learning to meet your temperament in a Godly way makes all the difference in the world.

You don't understand Dr. Penewit...it's too late for me!

I can emphasize with you...feeling this way can be extremely stressful and concerning. If you have made an error in judgment, you may have that nagging thought in your mind..."What if I do it again? How can I stop doing this? or How can I stop feeling this way"?
The first step is knowing why you moved in this direction. Learning about your unique temperament is the starting point to healing and wholeness. Once we learn this, then we may begin working on each individual aspect of your temperament in a way that can change your very life and the way you think.

The effect goes deep.

We have been discussing how knowing one's temperament can affect your relationships. As we continue your therapy, you will begin to realize that this effect of knowing your unique temperament has far reaching results. You may be in sales and realize that your approach is different and more effective than it used to be. You may be a professional such as a doctor or attorney and see the stress level drop dramatically. You will then see your creativity level rise significantly. The effects reach anything that you do because your see yourself as God created you.